Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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