The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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