I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
