Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
