Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
