i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
