Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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