love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
