I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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