I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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