I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
