Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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