Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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