There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you will always have a special place in my vag
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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