Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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