Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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