Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
