i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't deserve a penis
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
