The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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