Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Verdict: uncircumcised.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
