I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
