Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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(315): View more from New York

I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.

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(845): View more from New York

My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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(813): View more from Florida

I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You were sober bartending last night right?

(901): View more from Tennessee

Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Romantic

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