I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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