so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
wow bdsm is so cute
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