dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
