Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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