these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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