I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
