I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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