Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
