Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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