I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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