I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my being single is dangerous.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
