After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
