It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
