He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That accounts for only three of the penises
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
