Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
