Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
