I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
