i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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