I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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