I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
