alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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