Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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