She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
