idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
