I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
there is puke in my bra ... again
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
