I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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