and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
