remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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