I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
